So, you’ve replaced your regular light bulbs with the energy-efficient fluorescent kind, you drive a hybrid car and, of course, you recycle. But if you insist on using “soft” toilet paper, you’re still not doing everything you can to save the planet. Why?

Because the ingredient which makes toilet paper soft . . . is TREE PULP.

In other words, you can save the planet by using “rough” toilet paper that’s produced entirely from recycled fibers. Or you can use “soft” toilet paper . . . and kill trees.

OTHER TOILET PAPER FACTS:

· Sales of premium “soft” toilet paper increased by as much as 40% last year.

· Cottonelle and Scott get as much as 22% of their tree pulp from Canadian boreal forests . . . where some of the trees are 200 YEARS OLD.

· Toilet paper produced from 100% recycled fibers makes up only 2% of sales for at-home use.

· The pulp from one eucalyptus tree can produce as many as 1,000 rolls of toilet paper.

· Overall, the average American uses 23.6 rolls of toilet paper each year.

Okay, so my 13 year old son is getting upset with me and I want to see if I am truly the bad guy here.

He continually wants to go with his friend to various places that require the friends 17 year old brother driving them around.  I always tell him no due to the fact that it is a 17 year old who I do not know driving.  I have explained to him that I am not comfortable with that, and he does not understand why.

I have told him that I was 17 once and would not say that I was the most responsible driver.  I thought it was funny to red red lights, didn’t really pay attention to traffic and was always too busy playing with the radio or messing around with my friends to watch the road.

Young drivers today most likely are the same way but now add in talking on the cell phone and/or texting and you can see why I am not really ok with this.  I just do not want to trust the safety of my 13 year old with a 17 year old.

Last night he asked again.  He wants to go with his friend and his friends brother and his friends to a ski mountain tonight.  1st the mountain is about an hour away, 2nd my son does not know how to ski and 3rd he will have 0 supervision in a very crowded place.  I do trust my son, but again, he is 13 and is bound to have a lapse of judgement at some point.

So again, he is mad at me and does not understand why he cannot go.  I am starting to feel bad and wanted to get some advice from others.  Should I let him go?  Am I being too hard?  Any help is appreciated!

When I was a kid, I loved getting money from the tooth fairy. But I noticed that some of my friends got more money from the tooth fairy than I did . . . and some of them got less. I was one of the lucky kids who would wake up with a sweet $1 under my pillow. Once I even tried to put a plain white tic tac under my pillow in hopes of tricking the Tooth Fairy to leave me some extra money. Of course, it never worked!

My daughter and her friends are at the age where they lose their teeth, and it seems that the new market value on teeth under the pillow is $10 per tooth! And in some cases I am hearing that in addition to the $10 there are gifts like movies, cd’s and things like that. If the Tooth Fairy keeps spending like this, she is going to need some sort of government bailout as well!

That begs the question: How much SHOULD the tooth fairy give per tooth?

Well, according to a recent survey, more than HALF of all dentists think $1 is an appropriate amount, 16% think $2 is appropriate . . . and 17% think the going rate should be $5 per tooth.

What does your child get? Is $10 too much? What do you think the “going rate” should be?

Here’s even more proof that it doesn’t pay to try and help other people . . .

Last Friday, a 58-year-old bus driver named Jim Moffett, from Adams County, Colorado was driving his route when two elderly women got off the bus . . . and attempted to cross the busy street.

So, being the gentleman that he is, Jim . . . along with another passenger . . . got off the bus to help the two old ladies. But as they were crossing . . . Jim was hit by a pickup truck.

According to his stepson, quote, “Jim saw [the truck] coming and pushed the three others out of the way and took the truck head on. He was knocked clean out of his shoes, his hearing aids were knocked out of his head and his glasses knocked off of his face.”

Jim suffered broken bones in his face, leg and wrist, as well as a dislocated shoulder, a ruptured spleen and liver . . . and bleeding in his brain. But listen to THIS . . .

After he was rushed to the hospital, Jim got a $22 ticket . . . for JAYWALKING!

According to a police spokesman, quote, “We understand Mr. Moffett was doing something with great intentions, but . . . the reason this crash happened was because they were on the road. It’s extremely dangerous to jaywalk there.”

Jim is expected to make a full recovery . . . and he says he has no regrets about what he did.

This is just a random picture of an old lady…I thought it would add to the visual!

God bless the police for dealing with guys like THIS . . . every single day.

Last Wednesday, police officers in Fort Pierce, Florida pulled over 50-year-old Johnnie Roberts on suspicion of drunk driving. And it was all downhill from there . . .

#1.) Johnnie was driving around with a can of Natural Ice beer on the roof of his truck . . . and when the police pulled him over, he had another can of beer in his hand.

#2.) While the officers were talking to Johnnie . . . he PEED HIS PANTS.

#3.) According to the police report, the officers asked Johnnie to touch his right shoe and he just, quote, “looked down at his feet and started stumbling around saying ‘What shoe?’”

#4.) When the officers asked Johnnie to perform some field sobriety tests, he started cursing and telling them they, quote, “ain’t all that.”

#5.) After the officers arrested Johnnie and took him to jail, he tried to suck the air out of the breathalyzer test . . . instead of blowing into it.

#6.) Then Johnnie PEED HIS PANTS AGAIN!!

Here is the mug shot of Mr. Bladder Control:

In general, I try to keep an open mind about different cultures and their traditional customs. But it blows my mind that in 2009, people still believe in nonsense like THIS . . .

On Monday, a 2-year-old boy from Bhubaneswar, India named Sagula Munda got married . . . to his NEIGHBOR’S DOG.

Let me say that again. On Monday, a 2-year-old Indian boy got married to a DOG!

I know what you’re thinking . . . WHY??? Apparently, Sagula had grown a tooth on the upper part of his gum which, according to tribal lore, is a bad omen that makes him more likely to be attacked by tigers or other wild animals.

So Sagula married the dog to please the gods . . . in hopes that they’d ward off evil spirits and keep him safe. For what it’s worth, India’s government doesn’t recognize marriages between humans and dogs . . . of course . . . and Sagula won’t have to divorce the dog in order to get married to a HUMAN when he grows up.

On Tuesday, BARACK OBAMA signed off on a $787 BILLION economic stimulus package. Here’s some perspective on just how much money that is.

With $787 BILLION you could . . .

–Pay every elementary school teacher’s salary in the entire country for 11 YEARS.

–Pay off every American’s student loan debt . . . and still have $237 BILLION to spare.

–Buy more than 45 MILLION Pontiac G5 cars to help GM stay in business.

–Buy the Boston Celtics 1,760 times.

–Cover the money lost in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme 16 times.

–Buy 19.6 BILLION digital TV converter boxes.

–Buy 222 BILLION Big Macs.

Or look at it this way . . . If someone paid you $1 MILLION every day for the rest of your life, you wouldn’t have $787 BILLION until April of 4165!!

Ladies . . . would you like to be able to pee while standing up? Of course you would. Why wouldn’t you?

That’s why you’ve got to check out this AMAZING new product I found called the Go-Girl. What’s the Go-Girl? According to the product website, the Go-Girl is a, quote, “female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to pee while standing up.”

Basically, it’s a funnel that you put under your “you know what” . . . which allows you to aim while you relieve yourself.

The Go-Girl costs $4.99 . . . or you can get a three-pack for $11.99. You can buy the Go-Girl urination device here  http://www.go-girl.com/ (For some reason, their site keeps going down, so be patient! I guess a lot of ladies are trying to be free of sitting down or something!)