This is interesting.  I recieved and email from a fine reader of the blog who is asking me to give them some advice on an issue they are having with their boyfriend.  I find this interesting because if you read my blogs, in no way am I helpful or give any hint of being a shrink.  I am just a guy who works at a radio station who has a TON of time on his hands and fills his void of being on the radio by writing a silly little blog.

I emailed her back and asked if I could post it here for the readers to offer some help and she gave her permission.  I will share my thoughts after you read the email:

Hi Big Daddy. My name is Danielle and I have a boyfriend that I’m starting to wonder if he’s a control freak or not. I don’t have a car (because someone stole mine about 4 months ago) and so he takes me to work and picks me up and goes to all my gatherings with people outside of work because “he’s my ride”. I’ve noticed that every time I find a vehicle I like….he wants to check it out and there’s always something wrong with it. He’s much older than me and I figure he’s much wiser, so I listen to him. But my gut is now telling me that as long as I am dependent upon him for transportation that this is his way of seeming like he’s a nice guy and being so generous to chauffer me around as I need and ask but really just keeping close tabs on  me.

We email all day at work (shhhh don’t tell my boss hee hee) and this is something else that makes me think he’s just a control freak….I will ask him a question and if he doesn’t want to answer it….he ignores the question all together but when he asks me a question and I’m not specific with my freaking answer he’s upset about it and giving me the third degree. So, I’m wanting your opinion on this guy…..he’s a very smart, not so outgoing, successful, older man and I’m 13 years younger than him and I’m very outgoing and people have told me that I’m an attractive woman  .

Is he being protective, controlling or just being a loving and caring significant other?

BTW- we’ve been dating for about 6 months and we live together after 2 months…if that makes a difference. He was pretty insistent on me staying with him.

Again, I have no idea why you may think that I have any skills at all in dealing with human emotion or relationships, but I will give it my best shot.  I want to find the most delicate way to say this…..well, there is no delicate way.  I think this guy is keeping you on a short leash. 

Let’s just start with the car thing…ummmm you are an adult and have a j0b and should be able to get yourself there (pending you do not have any DUI’s and loss of license).  You shouldn’t need to ask father time permission to buy one!  This guy sounds like the begining of a “Law & Order” epsisode and you don’t need to be a part of the show if you know what I mean.

I would go ahead and get your car and do what you have to do for yourself and if he gives you a hard time, than you will know.  It is never a good idea to become dependant on someone else for everything, especially if it is by thier design!  This guy may just care about you a lot as well and wants to make sure you are always ok, but that may be a reach.

I will leave the advice up to the readers.  I would hate for you to rely just on me…that would not be a good idea.  Again, I work at a radio station and write blogs….silly blogs at that.  My goal is to help people waste time at work, not break them up becuase of my thoughts!

Good luck and I hope you work it all out!