Let me start off this little time waster with a “cut and paste” from today’s Boston Herald so you know what I am talking about:

An industrious Lowell hooker allegedly ripped off $62,000 in cash from a drunken john who was flush with piles of money from credit card advances and looking for love.

Jessica Garcia, 30, of Lowell allegedly was to be paid $30 to perform oral sex on the man, but once she saw he was carrying a duffel bag loaded with cash she pounced, police say.

Garcia wrapped a belt around the tipsy man’s legs while inside a Lowell apartment building Saturday night, shoved him down and grabbed the bag of money, said Lowell Police Capt. Deborah Friedl.

Garcia was to be arraigned in Lowell District Court today on a charge of unarmed robbery.

Police say the unsuspecting john had been drinking cognac for several hours when he hopped on his bicycle, duffel bag in tow, looking for a prostitute at about 8 p.m. Saturday, Friedl said. The man had withdrawn the cash from six different credit cards, although it’s unclear why, Friedl said. He took the bag of money with him for safe-keeping, she said.

Garcia allegedly solicited the cash-flushed man in front of 143 Westford St., and he followed her into the building’s basement. The man had agreed to pay Garcia $30 for oral sex, Friedl said.

The man told police he was struck on the head and does not remember the robbery. After waking up, he went to a Lowell police station and reported the crime.

Police found Garcia and another man in the downtown Lowell Doubletree Hotel later that night with three stacks of bills totaling $44,521.

Garcia told police she tied a belt around the man’s ankles and pushed him on the floor before taking off with the money.

Friedl said it’s unclear what happened to the rest of the money.

I am not sure why this story made me laugh so much, but it did.  1st, I cannot imagine that someone would take $62,000 off their credit cards as a cash advance!  WHAT could you possibly be doing that for?  I don’t know about you, but my credit card company gets a nice little penny for those kind of transactions!  2nd, no disrespect to the working girls of Lowell, but I can’t imagine that this guy was getting anything the came close to looking like Pam Anderson for $30!

Also, if this guy was in that much need of a “female friend” and had $62,000, I would think a trip to the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas would be a much better time than some basement in Lowell.

The best part of the story I think is that the “lady of the night” made off with all of his money!  How silly this guy must have looked having to go to the Police Station and explain how he was “robbed”.  1st, he has to admit to breaking the law by paying her, and then he has to admit she made off with his loot! hahahahahahha!  LOSER!

And to top it off, she didn’t get that far.  She checks into a hotel using the cash she stole and the police were able to track her down.  So in the end, he didn’t get anything except for most of his money back!  I can’t wait to read how this one shakes out and where the other 20 grand went! 

I also can’t wait to hear why the guy was taking $62,000 off his credit cards.  I have a feeling he was up to no good with that anyway.  Some people are just nuts, and this story is a great example.