Well, what a day it is turning out to be.  I will apologize ahead of time for my rants today but between this $85,000,000,000 bailout of AIG, my shirt collar not staying down, cheating on my diet, deep thoughts about some dog who is always doing his business when I drive by and Dane Cook “getting too big for his britches” (an old line from my Dad…older people use that), it’s just too much for me to keep in today!  This could be a 4 hour read when all is said and done!

Let’s just start with Boston’s own Dane Cook.  He is in Boston today as it is “Dane Cook Day” or something like that and to promote his new movie, which I now refuse to even say.  He was making the local media rounds including a stop here in my building and I must tell you, this guy has a bigger detail than the 11 secret herbs and spices did when KFC had to move the recipe a few weeks back!

I should tell you that when I found out he was coming by last week, I made a call to “his people” to see if we could get him to do one of those “Celebrity Playlist Parties” that we do on MIKE-FM that are really cool (and gives him the chance to promote his projects), shoot a quick video interview for the website with questions from his fans as well as read a few recorded lines (that all of the celebrities read for every radio station in the world) that we would have for him that promote MIKE-FM and a few for the Franciscan Children’s Hospital Fundraiser we do.  I was told “no” and that there was just not enough time as he needed to get to his big ceremony at City Hall or wherever the big “gala” is.  Not to sidetrack, but I think someday I want a ceremony thrown for me…something at a KFC or Popeye’s that highlights my success as someone who eats chicken everyday (baked, steamed, grilled and fried before the diet) and has helped bring chicken awareness to the general public.  I feel it is safe to say I am the modern day Colonel Sanders and have been a great Goodwill Ambassador for chicken across the land.  Now, back to the rant.

Well, me not being one to give up and take no for an answer, came in extra early today to try and catch Mr.  Cook after he finished up with my colleagues over at WAAF.  All I wanted was for him to say a few little words into a microphone to promote this annual radio-a-thon we do here at MIKE-FM (Dec 19^th is this year’s date) to raise money for the Franciscan Children’s Hospital (click here to find out more about this amazing place) and to take a picture with me so I can look like I did something today and further populate my celebrity stalking photo album I maintain.  Total time needed, maybe 3 minutes at the MOST! 

Now, usually I need to act with the stealth of a ninja (which is very hard to do with a name like Big Daddy, I do not advise you trying that at home as I am a professional) to get these celebrity types to do anything as they have very busy and grueling schedules they must stick to and can’t be bothered with my silliness, but I thought for sure Dane would be there for me as he is from here and we both like to let our dogs do their business outside and not clean it up (click here if you have no idea what I am talking about so you can share in my joke).  But, I couldn’t even get within 20 feet of him, as his people rushed him out the door faster than Jacoby Ellsbury stealing 2^nd base!

Now, I will not put all of the blame on Mr. Cook here.  You see, in the world of “Celebrities”, you have your Manager, Agent, PR person, Stylist, Dog Walker, Personal Assistant, the Pool Guy and like 56,598,382 other people that you pay to run “interference” for you and are paid to make life easy for them and to keep people like me away from them.  I get it.  You are busy and have a million people pulling at your to do everything.  You can’t say yes to everything.  I am okay with that!  BUT, when you are going to be IN THE BUILDING (to promote your new movie which isn’t getting the best of feedback before it even comes out) and someone who may want to take 3 minutes of your time gets told no by one of your handlers, that is not cool.  I couldn’t even get close enough to you to put you on the spot and guilt you into doing it!  And to top it off, I heard through the grapevine that the Promotions Princess of WAAF had asked nicely to have him sign 5 of HIS posters for his new movie so they could be given as prizes to listeners, and she was told NO by his people!  Are you serious?  You can’t even sign 5 of YOUR posters for YOUR fans?

I am positive that Mr. Cook was never even told of my request.  Most of the “handlers” are too afraid to even ask them.  I am sure if he even reads this, he may feel like kind of an ass seeing that he goes on the radio talking about how much he cares about his fans and even writes back to a good deal of his emails because when he was 1^st starting out, he felt that was his best way to connect with them in hopes of “making it big” someday.  Well Mr. Cook, you are big now.  Too big to spare a few minutes, unless it is to fully promote your newest project that you need people to spend money on so you can keep getting these big deals and live the life you now lead out in LA or wherever it is, far away from your roots in Arlington.

I don’t mean to really throw him under the bus here, but it is a bit ridiculous.  I can honestly say I have never had a situation like this before.  We have had Paul Stanley from KISS, which is arguably one of the BIGGEST All-time Rock Bands in the WORLD do everything we asked him to do without any problems and he came in at 6AM to do it!  I don’t know, it just frustrated me a bit today that this went down the way it did.  And again, I am sure Mr. Cook has no idea, but you know what?  He is the star..he calls the shots…he tells his people what he will/won’t do for the most part.  So, in the end, he is to blame.

Maybe this will get to him and he will give me a call and we can put it behind us and share a few laughs.  I’m sure he is a good person and does a lot for his fans etc.  Maybe today was a bad day.  Whatever it was, I just find it hard to believe this is the Dane Cook we have all seen rise to the top and cheered for him along the way.

Now, I am taking a vitamin and moving onto bigger issues.

I am so annoyed with my shirt today.  The silly collar will not stay down!  I usually have these collar stays that I put in to keep it down, but could not find any of the 146 I have and had to go without today.  Well, now if I decided to run down the hall, my collar would be like a wing and I would probably start to fly.  I don’t know what to do.  I am thinking about trying to use some scotch tape or something to keep it down.  Any ideas?

I also had a weak moment today and had a breakfast sandwich from Burger King.  I had to get up so early today for my failed mission and needed a boost.  Healthy food does not seem to do it for me and I made the bad choice of the breakfast sandwich.  I convinced myself for 40 miles that it was ok to do as I will be at the gym later and will burn it off.  Well, now my little tummy hurts and I feel bad that I did it.  Overall I am doing well on this diet so I won’t beat myself up too bad.  Besides, it tasted so much better than lettuce and a protein bar!

Here is a little nugget for you that you may find odd.  I drive the same route to work in the morning and have been noticing that there is this black dog that I pass everyday on Rte 119 in Groton by Lawrence Academy doing his/her business.  Now, I may pass this house anytime between 7-8:30 AM depending on the day and this silly dog is always in the same spot doing the same thing!  And yes, it is a real dog as I see it waving its tail and it is always finishing up as I pass.  I just found it odd that is always happens when I drive by.  I know that is a very random thing to write about, but it is just odd to me.

And finally AIG.  Now, I will be the 1^st to tell you I could care less about any of this stuff as I am too consumed into writing my blog, going to the gym, sleeping and watching TV, but when I read that the US is giving these clowns $85,000,000,000 to bail them out, I was a bit perplexed.  The only part of it I was happy about, was that I have a very good friend who had a horrible day yesterday because of the situation as it made her day HELL!  Now that they are saved, it makes her life easier which I am happy for.

I again do not know the how’s/why’s of it all so I won’t even begin to write about it.  What I will say is how is it we can give this money to them and not be using it to help keep the price of gas down or give to people losing their homes or businesses because of the economy right now?  We (The USA) give so much of our money to foreign countries to help their people (which I am not always for as we have our own issues here) but now we are going to give it to companies that mess up to save them?

I don’t get how we just have $85,000,000,000 laying around in some bank to cut them a check.  I wonder how that works now that I think about it.  What is it like to go to your online banking and see that you have that type of loot in your account?  Some people here are living in shelters due to bad mortgages they had etc. and we are hooking up a company who probably pays its CEO $10,000,000 a year!

And I don’t understand how we just can’t print more money when we need it.  By we, I mean the Government.  I didn’t want you to think I was advocating we all just print our own money on our home printers…I don’t need the FBI on my back!  I hear people say that we can’t do it because it will bring down the value of the dollar or something like that.  Well, here is an idea.  DON’T TELL ANYONE YOU DID IT!  I mean, if we were to just print like a trillion dollars and just slowly leave it on the street for people, who is going to know we snuck some into circulation?  I say they just start printing it up and give it to me to distribute. 

Like I said, I do have the stealth of a ninja and can get it done, as long as it doesn’t involve me having to get it from Dane Cook!