Yesterday was Media Day for the World Champion Boston Celtics and yours truly was tabbed to represent MIKE-FM by his boss.  It was a fun filled afternoon of mingling with all of the Boston Media types and Celtics Players.  I watched the press conference from the Health Point facility and then made my rounds getting various players to talk to me and record some audio that we can use on MIKE-FM at some point.

I thought for sure there would be some sort of Chicken served at this thing which is the real reason I went, but there was nothing!  Not even a diet coke was around.  So I spent some time watching the players get their pictures taken and looking at how tall Kendrick Perkins is and how Eddie House doesn’t ever smile.  Rajon Rondo was the clown of the group and reminded me of myself a bit, minus the basketball skills, million dollar contract and the fact he is a pro athlete!  I could’ve been a pro athlete if I wanted to be as growing up, my parents always said I could be anything I wanted when I was older but I chose a life in radio instead of pro sports.  Besides, who needs all of that money?

I was talking to a buddy of mine in Atlanta who tells me that they have run out of gas.  I thought for sure they were joking, until pictures arrived from their newspaper showing me the chaos at the pumps!  How do they run out of gas?   There are places that have some and the lines are 50 cars deep!  What moron does the gas buying for Atlanta?  Everywhere else that I know of has gas, except this area.  Did the guy driving the big tanker truck have a brain fart and just drive by Atlanta and skip it completely?  I am thinking of doing some calculations and seeing how cost effective it would be for me to fill up a super big tanker full of gas and drive it to Atlanta and sell it for top dollar.  For you Seinfeld fans, think of the episode where Kramer wants to drive the recycled cans in the mail truck to Michigan (I think that was it) to redeem them for $.10. 

There is a place in Acton called Bursaw Gas who I get gas from all the time and it is the cheapest around.  Today I paid like $3.25/gallon.  I don’t think they care about profit, so maybe they will sell it to me for $3/gallon and I’ll buy a ton of it and haul it to ATL and sell it for $6/gallon.  The people of ATL will just be happy that I cared enough to bring them gas and would gladly pay me for it.  I will be a hero and make some money at the same time.

The other idea I had was working with my chemist friend Nik (who is also a Lawyer, go figure) about somehow taking those free soy sauce packets that you get with Chinese food takeout and convert it to fuel.  I know it is a long shot, but it kinda looks like gas so I wonder if we can just make it gas.  Besides, it is free and you get like 400 packets when you order anything, so there is a huge profit margin, low over head and I get to have Chinese food.  Plus I would be solving a big problem and most likely would get my own day named after me in Boston like that nameless comedian I am not friends with right now.

Oh, and here is a great little story for you.  I have a friend in Maine who has been getting back into the dating scene lately.  She joined all of the typical sites and lined up a few chumps for dates.  She was telling me about how she has them on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night as well as a lunch date on Monday.  She was telling me about where she was going on her 1^st date and mentioned the Longhorn Restaurant.  As a joke, I told her to order the most expensive thing on the menu, eat 2 bites and say she was full and see what the guy did.  If he didn’t care, then he must be a nice guy.  If he got mad and asked to take her steak home, then he was cheap and probably a loser.  Again, I was joking. 

So the next day it turns out that she ordered a steak, ate 2 bites and was full!  Now, she was only full because she ate some carrots or something like that before dinner, not because of my horrible advice.  Well, the guy didn’t ask to take her steak home, he just removed it from her plate and ate it right there! WOW!  That is funny.  Needless to say, she will not be going out with Uncle Rico again!  (If you are not familiar with Uncle Rico, go watch Napoleon Dynamite so my joke will be somewhat funny to you.)

And to top it off, it turns out that ALL of her dates are at the Longhorn!  I laughed at that one because they must see her coming in there each night with a different guy and think she is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or something.  I asked why she keeps going there and it turns out that it is the only place to go near her house besides like Mel’s Diner or something!  Ah…the joy of living in Maine!

So that is it for now.  I will have some interviews up this week from whoever decides they are bored and calls me.  And just for the record, I still have not received anything in the mail from any Celebrity yet.  I still hold faith as they did promise me.  Oh, and I am down 17 pounds now.  I may have gained a few back last night as I had some pasta, but that was only because I thought there was zero carbs in it.  My bad!