Posted by Big Daddy on February 27, 2009
Okay, so my 13 year old son is getting upset with me and I want to see if I am truly the bad guy here.
He continually wants to go with his friend to various places that require the friends 17 year old brother driving them around. I always tell him no due to the fact that it is a 17 year old who I do not know driving. I have explained to him that I am not comfortable with that, and he does not understand why.
I have told him that I was 17 once and would not say that I was the most responsible driver. I thought it was funny to red red lights, didn’t really pay attention to traffic and was always too busy playing with the radio or messing around with my friends to watch the road.
Young drivers today most likely are the same way but now add in talking on the cell phone and/or texting and you can see why I am not really ok with this. I just do not want to trust the safety of my 13 year old with a 17 year old.
Last night he asked again. He wants to go with his friend and his friends brother and his friends to a ski mountain tonight. 1st the mountain is about an hour away, 2nd my son does not know how to ski and 3rd he will have 0 supervision in a very crowded place. I do trust my son, but again, he is 13 and is bound to have a lapse of judgement at some point.
So again, he is mad at me and does not understand why he cannot go. I am starting to feel bad and wanted to get some advice from others. Should I let him go? Am I being too hard? Any help is appreciated!
Parents are supposed to set the boundaries and kids are supposed dislike what boundaries we impose on them. Sometimes those boundaries are what keep kids from making choices that they are too young to make. The wrong choices that we as adults know will lead to long lasting consequences yet the kids cannot conceive that concept yet.
. So hang in there with the rest of us in the meanest parent in the entire world group! Stick to what your instinct tells you!
I always tell my son that when he is angry at me then I know Ibeing the best parent I can! And if I am wrong, he will always have material for that therapist that is going to tell him that the root of his problems stem from how he was raised anyway!
Comment by Leslie — February 27, 2009 @ 2:04 pm
(Ok, second time posting-the 1st got deleted)
I don’t think I would be comfortable with that either. Besides, isn’t there a rule about them driving with other kids in the car?? Are any of these activities things that you could drive him to? That way he can participate in the activity and won’t feel like you are trying to keep him from having fun, but at least you can know that he is getting there safely.
Comment by Sue — February 27, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
Ok, you remember what it is like with young drivers….why if you are questioning yourself would you let him go? You might be the mean parent but at least you child will be safe. You could drive him there and hang out in the lounge…..it is lame but again better safe than sorry! He is only 13. If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to go. 17 and 13 two different worlds. He doesn’t need to grow up any faster (than kids already do!).
Comment by Kim — March 10, 2009 @ 3:52 pm