I was feeling a little sluggish today and wandered down to the vending machine to grab a nice, nutritious snack of “cheez crackers” (I will leave the name generic, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about).  I then sat at my little space here at MIKE-FM and proceeded to munch on them while playing a game of Donkey Kong on 937mikefm.com

As I got to the bottom of the bag, there were like 3 of these square treats left so I just held up the bag and dumped them into my mouth.  As I bit down, I had a sharp pain in my mouth and a horrible taste!  I reached into my mouth and pulled out what looks like a thin, mangled piece of metal or maybe a twisted up staple!  OUCH!

After I sat here and looked at it, I called the toll free # on the back of the bag thinking maybe I was uncovering a national outbreak of staples being put in the bags by some disgruntled employee and how I was saving people and kids everywhere.  They clown who answered the phone must have just started to work there after losing his job making fries somewhere because he could have cared less!

He asked me for the UPC # on the back of the bag, which was no problem.  He then asked for the expiration date that was printed on the bag.  I looked all over, and could not find it.  He insisted it was there and told me a few places to look for it.  Again, nothing!  I told him all I could see was a letter K with some #’s after it.  He said that wasn’t it and insisted it was there.  Now, forgive me, but if I am calling you because there is some shrapnel in my “cheez” crackers, I would think you would be a bit nicer and not keep insisting I am missing it.

I again told him all I could see was a letter K with random #’s after it.  He acted like I had not been telling him that and said, “that would be it” in a sarcastic tone.  Now forgive me again, but does K09189H look like an expiration date to you?  I always thought those were like April 5, 1010 or Apr 09 etc.  How K09189CH becomes an expiration date that would be recognizable to the general public is beyond me.

He then tells me that he will be sending me an envelope to send him the bag and piece of metal.  He followed it up by telling me that he will also be sending me some coupons so I can get more “cheez” crackers.  Great!  Just want I want.  MORE of them now that I have cut my mouth eating them!

Did you notice 1 thing I did not mention here?  He never even asked me if I was ok or even said he was sorry to hear it.  I don’t expect them to be treating me like a war hero, but you would think a common courtesy would be to at least ask how I was and apologize!  Where has the customer service gone?

So, now I get to sit here with an awful metal taste in my mouth and a nice little cut thanks to my pals at the “cheez” factory.  I regret eating them and ask myself if the need for “CHEEZ” was worth “IT”.  Next time I need a snack I will just visit the health buff next to me and borrow some of his protein shake power.  Less of a risk with that!