So, by now most people have either seen the show “Hoarders” or have read about it. I will admit that I love the show.  There is nothing I like more than hearing how these people explain why they need to save old Chicken Noodle Soup cans.  Their logic is almost really convincing.  I mean, there really could be a time when Campbell’s runs out of cans and this Hoarder can save them for not being able to can soup anymore by selling them the 5,327,453 cans they have piled up in the living room.  But I digress.  The only part that bores me is when they get too deep into the therapeutic side.  The way they baby them about tossing away 20 year old stale milk isn’t as fun to listen to when a Dr. is explaining it.  Let a comedian run the show and then we will next level Hoarders.  Can you imagine the show with Chris Rock as the host?
I find it very entertaining…but something is missing.  They call it a disease that has to be treated or some other blah blah blah like that.  I put some thought into a new Hoarders type show I want to produce and want to share it with you and see what you think before I contact Hollywood.  I want to call it “Hoard-Nappers”.
Here it is in a nutshell.  People submit stuff on their friends and family who are hoarders.  We then select our little hoarder and unexpectedly show up at their house, cameras already rolling.  We ring the door bell, and as soon as they open the door…we toss a pillow case over their head, tie them up, toss them into the waiting A-Team style van outside and bring them to a holding room complete with all the furnishings and comforts of a clean home minus a phone (as we would hate for them to call the cops so early into this).
We then just bring in the garbage people and toss all their junk.  Of course, we keep and organize the good stuff for them, but we just do it in a much faster fashion without the need of a Psychologist taking it paper by paper with the hoarder in question.  I also think that every so often you send a little video back to the hoarder (who remember, is tied up in seclusion with no clue as to what is going on) to show them what we are doing.  Think of it like when on Extreme Home Makeover they show the family down in Disney World the live video of the work crew demolishing their house.  It gives the family instant closure and shows them the light at the end of the tunnel is right before them.  In our case, we could show them clips of us tossing away their collection of coupons from the 70’s, empty frozen dinner boxes and a few dead things we are sure to find.  Of course, for the 20-30 living cats still there, we would call the animal shelter to come get them and find them new homes.
Hopefully, without the hoarder around to slow down production, we can shoot an episode in 1 day.  At the end of the day, we put the hoarder back in the van and drive them home.  When we drop them off, we tell them to count to 100 before they remove the pillowcase (as we want to make a clean break).  Of course we would already have installed hidden cameras in the house so we can see their reaction to the “reveal” (as they call it on Extreme Home Makeover).  Imagine their surprise as they take off the pillowcase and see their home clean and organized!  It would be the same reaction us non-hoarders would be if we walked into our house to find it looking like a dump.
The only downfall I can see in this idea is the potential to be charged with kidnapping, breaking and entering and possibly theft but I have to think if the person called the Police, what would they really say?  Someone kidnapped me for the day, brought me to a fully furnished room and cleaned my house?  They threw away all of my dead animals and old 2 liter soda bottles?  I have to think the Police would think it was a joke and hang up on them.
So there you have it.  THAT is my great idea.  If you want to be a part of “Hoard-Nappers”, let me know.  Production starts as soon as my boss gives me the green light.