So here we are a week or so into 2010 and as usual, all I hear about are New Years Resolutions. People talking about how they are going to lose weight, stop smoking, get out of debt, finally use that gym membership they’ve been paying for but never use and the list goes on and on and on. Do you want to know what my New Years Resolution is? Simple. Nothing.

I used to be one of those people who made a list of things I wanted to change in the New Year, but, there is only so much faliure one can take! I mean, how many people really have lost the weignt they wanted, stopped eating crap, stopped smoking etc.? The majority of us FAIL! Why set yourself up, right?

Besides, the more I thought about it, why do we need that date of January 1st to start making a difference in our lives? If I decide in June that I want to eat better, what good is it if I say “Well, once it is January 1, I’m going to eat better…but until then, let me enjoy another Popeye’s biscuit”. That leaves me 6 months of eating crap! By the time January comes around, I’ve probably hoarded more biscuits then normal out of fear that I will be giving them up! Now, I’ve packed on 20 more pounds I need to lose and then when I fail at “going to the gym” to lose weight, I’ll still be carrying around that “extra” 20 pounds!

If you really want to change something about yourself, why do you need a date? Just do it now and get the faliure over with so you can move on! Why stress out about it and hold yourself to these crazy timeframes? Seriously, I’m probably paying for 4-5 gym memberships based on New Years Resolutions. This year, now that I’m a “realist”, I did not sign up anywhere! When the time is right and I really want to go to the gym, they will still be there. If I ever want to really cutback on the crap I digest, fruit will still be there. If you smokers really want to quit, the patch isn’t going anywhere. Your lungs however, I can’t help you there. It isn’t like there is a lung store, but, I digress.

Frank Costanza had Festivus to celebrate Christmas without participating in the pressure and commercialization of the holiday. I think we need to create one for New Years Day so we can just enjoy the day off from work without feeling the pressure to make a New Years Resolution. I don’t know what to call it, but am open to ideas. Let’s start the movement now! What do ya’ think?

Weezer singer Rivers Cuomo was hospitalized after his tour bus crashed in upstate New York Sunday morning on its way to Boston for a show that night at Boston University.  The driver lost control of the bus after hitting a patch of ice which sent it across the highway median and into a ditch on the other side.  Rivers was taken to the hospital with 3 cracked ribs and is still receiving care.  An assistant to the band received two fractured ribs and a fractured lower vertebrae, but was released. Rivers’ wife and his two-year-old daughter were also on the bus, but they weren’t injured. The band has cancelled the rest of their Raditude tour, but will try and reschedule.

Now it’s time for a little segment we like to call “Life in the Eastern Bloc” . . .

Recently, 26-year-old Miroslav Miljici of Doboj, Bosnia went through a heartbreaking divorce with his unidentified wife.

Now, it’s not exactly clear why the marriage dissolved.  But what is apparent is that Miroslav blamed the breakup on his mother-in-law . . . Who he claims turned his wife against him.

So to get back at her, Miroslav blew up his mother-in-law’s house . . . With an ANTI-TANK MISSILE LAUNCHER!  And when his mother-in-law somehow survived that attack . . . He tried to gun her down with a MACHINE GUN!

Somehow, the mother-in-law survived both attacks . . . And Miroslav was sentenced to SIX YEARS in prison for attempted murder.  (And, no, Miroslav wasn’t charged with possessing these ridiculous weapons)

Below is a picture of what one of these bad boys looks like!

For those of you that do not know, besides my little cushy job here at MIKE-FM, I have my own little DJ business.  On Saturday, I was asked to DJ a surprise 30th Birthday party for a friend of the family.  Me, being the good guy that I am, said yes and made my way down to this little gathering of 30 people.

Well, after lugging in all of my equipment and setting everything up, I was then let in on a little secret.  There was going to be a MALE STRIPPER showing up in 1o minutes and I was needed to play the music for him!!  Now I’m all for a good time, but being the DJ for a make stripper is not my goal in life!

So this “officer of the law” shows up and gives me his CD to play.  He looked more like a mall cop or target security guard (no offense to those who are..but I think you get the idea) and told me to put it in and crank it up.  I am now feeling trapped and not sure where I can hide during his little show.  The music starts and he gets right into his little routine of whisking the birthday girl into black fuzzy handcuffs and onto a seat and then doing his thing.

All of the ladies are getting giddy with excitement as he shakes and tells them what bad girls they are.  I am trying to bury my head into my blackberry and read about anything I can find to avoid making eye contact with “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”, but something about this makes me look up every now and then to see what the hype is all about (an no, I was not looking at him so settle down).

I was watching moms (some of which were over 50 and some young and just had babies) getting all loud and wild rolling around on the floor with this guy and then slipping him $10 and $20 bills!  Now, I am thinking this guy has a sweet gig.  He gets paid to do whatever he wants for 30 minutes!  Sure, he had to be able to walk on his hands and put women in figure 4 head locks upside down but that is besides the point!  He must have left with over $400 and again, only worked for 30 minutes!

So after it was done, the ladies cooled their jets a bit and were laughing at the whole thing.  Some were saying he looked better with his glasses on, some were pointing out that he has a big white spot on his back due to a tanning bed issue and others were just happy that they had some man candy for a minute or 2.  One lady even asked me where “we” were playing next?  I did crack a smile that she thought I was with this clown…even if I appeared to be his traveling sound guy.

The best part was at the end of the night, I noticed him standing in the middle of the living room still in his g-string holding the families little dog in his arms.  I could not resist but to take a picture with my blackberry.  I am posting it below as I think it is too funny.

Anyway, that was my “awesome” Saturday night.  I guess now I am available to DJ your family gathering, school dance, company party, wedding and now….male stripper events.  Yay.  Lucky me.