Today we’re going to cover a few bullet points of falling off the wagon. Chuck pony style; the kind that leaves you all warm and fuzzy inside, like a Meg Ryan movie (completely normal to cry to Joe And The Volcano).

Warm Thoughts Only

So here’s the scenario:

You’ve decided to finally commit yourself to eating better and working out.

You’ve been hitting training sessions pretty good, well, as best you can while still leaving optional room for thirsty Thursdays, liquid lunch Fridays and sweetness sweet Saturdays. Not to forget, blow my f*#*ing brains out Monday

None the less, you’re Hero-ing 3 days a week! With all due respect I’d say you’re one Celine Dion hit away from complete self-annihilation, however, here are some tips to cool your passive aggressive anger and abandonment fantasies. Take it away Johnny!

1. When you want to eat something really-really-really bad, brush your teeth. If that doesn’t work, lift your shirt and gaze at your love lumps in the mirror. If that doesn’t do it, review your life insurance policy and see what it says about obesity and if there’s a Twix or Twinkie clause. Or in most cases, I’d suggest eating a clementine or orange first. Usually the sweetness of the citrus will curb some sugar cravings and lay those lovely lady lumps to rest.
 
 
2. When you’re having a tantrum on training, remember if you do, you’ll be better than your closest friends at every sport in about 5 years. If that doesn’t help, remember being the HOTT DAD at the playground, BBQ’s, reunions, High School athletic events and the infatuation of all the other moms and wives is ridiculously rewarding.
 
 
3. Put on a t-shirt from high school, or your favorite jeans or dress shirt that your girlfriend from three girlfriends past gifted you. Does it fit? If not, go on Facebook and find her latest profile pic. Does she look hot? Is her new boyfriend a good looking guy, maybe a little James Dean-esque-bad-boy? If so, I swear you’ll be at the gym and swallowing copious amounts of BCAA’s and protein powder in nanoseconds!
 
 
4. Call your most successful friend and ask him to meet you at the gym. Usually, seeing someone kick some ass, leads to you kicking more ass! Just don’t slap asses in the gym. Cue the 1980’s-training-room-montage-scene!
 
 
5. Call your ex-girlfriend, any should suffice, and ask her what went wrong. This list should provide ample weeks of hate and fantastic motivation.
 
 
6. Go back in your head to a time you got your grill knocked in by the schoolyard bully. Imagine how good it would feel to approach him as an adult after a few months of hitting it hard and knocking his ass out! If he just so happens to be a UFC fighter then maybe you can revert to a memory when the lunch-lady shafted you a full serving of garlic rice ball or shitty corner piece of pizza with two sides of crust…. some people are just evil.
 
 
7. Watch The Fighter or Rocky. Hell watch Designing Women if Anthony or Mary Jo inspire you. But watch something for fuel!
    
   

   ADRENALINE SURGE!

 
8. When all else fails pamper yourself bro. Cucumber eyes and facials. LIFE CHANGING!
 
 

LIVE THE DREAM! And adapted from the lyrics of John Lennon “peace and chicken grease”,

Rob Belley

Marshfield, 4 minutes to the beaches

Ole Mexican Grill

If you are craving some delicious, authentic Mexican food, but want a sit-down, up-scale atmosphere to enjoy it in, then Ole is your place.  Colorful, vibrant environment coupled with excellent food is the perfect recipe for a fantastic restaurant to add to your rotation.

An even bigger plus is that Ole rarely has a long wait and has a large parking lot, making it not only a tasty place to eat, but a convenient one as well.  Granted I went on a Tuesday, so it wasn’t surprising that there was no wait.  But after talking with the staff (and several of my friends who go regularly), the consensus is that the wait time is always very minimal.

Food

You must, without a doubt, order the Guacamole En Molcajete.  It’s under the starters section of the menu, and the only trouble with it is you may eat too much and be full for your entrees.  It’s guacamole made tableside, so it’s literally as fresh as it can possibly be.  It’s one of the most popular items on the menu, and with good reason.

As far as entrees go, I highly recommend the Arrachera.  On the menu it’s simply described as grilled skirt steak with frijoles, but it’s much more than that.  It’s a large amount of tender steak, seasoned perfectly.  Served alongside rice, beans, corns tortillas, and spicy sauces, you may not be sure of the best way to go about eating it.  However whatever way you choose (polite with a fork and knife or all out with your hands) it’s going to taste fantastic.

Last but not least is of course dessert.  Now in all fairness, I feel like I should be honest and tell all you readers that I received dessert for free because it was my friend’s birthday.  I would love to say that I was in no way affected by this; however we all know if it’s free it just tastes better.  That being said, the Crepas de Cajetas were fantastic.  Sweet enough to satisfy you after a big meal, but light enough to not leave you feeling overly stuffed.  They are a great choice to split if you just want a little something sweet after a filling meal.

Rating:

4 out of 4 forks

Typically if you go out for a meal where you order an appetizer, entrees, dessert and drinks you are looking at a seriously steep bill.  I think my favorite part of the meal was when I received the bill at the end of the night and it was shockingly low.  If I had known how cheap it was going to be, I might have ordered another pitcher of Sangria! 

Speaking of the Sangria, I highly recommend it as a nice, light alternative to the typical Margarita people tend to get at Mexican restaurants.  The perfect blend of wine, brandy and fruit like traditional Sangria should be, get a pitcher (or two) to share as a great additional to a sure-to-be amazing meal.

Naked Pizza

Naked Pizza is a chain with restaurants all over the US.  Recently a location opened in Brighton (and there is another in Brookline).  I’ve never heard of it before I passed it on my way home from work one day, but they now have another loyal customer.  After convincing my coworkers to order it for lunch one day, I’m sure they will be receiving business from us again.

Naked pizza’s whole cache is that you should “think before you bite” and only put healthy foods in your body, but that doesn’t mean those foods can’t be delicious.  It’s the epitome of healthy food that doesn’t taste like diet food.  They have plenty of options no matter what your diet is: gluten free, vegetarian, etc.  So anyone that gives it a shot I’m sure will be able to find something that they want to order.

Food

You begin the ordering process by picking a size: 10, 12 or 14 inch personal pies.  I got the 10 inch, but the next time I would get the 12 inch because I was still a little hungry when I was finished.  Then you pick a crust: the original, skinny or gluten-free.  I went with the skinny which was just as delicious as the original, just with fewer calories.  Your next option is tomato sauce, white sauce or barbecue sauce.  I had the tomato sauce and thought it was excellent.  After that you can either choose your toppings individually or go with one of their pre-selected pizzas.

I had bell peppers, spinach, tomatoes and mushrooms.  I was a little disappointed upon seeing it, because it was a variety of red, yellow and green peppers because I thought it was just going to be green peppers.  However it was delicious and the variety of peppers added some depth and range to the flavor of the pizza.

My coworker had the pre-selected “Mediterranean” pizza (artichoke, sun-dried tomato, red onion, black olive and feta cheese).  She liked it so much that she ate half of it before I got the chance to take a picture of her pizza!  I didn’t get a chance to try it, for fear of her biting my hand for getting in between her and her pizza, but she definitely recommended it.

Complaints

It would be the perfect place to go out to for lunch to get a break in the day, except that there isn’t much seating in the actual location.  This is frustrating if you want to sit there and eat your pizza while it’s hot (and most tasty).  Your options are unfortunately limited to delivery or pick up unless it happens to be empty in there and you score one of the few seats available to patrons.

It’s actually pretty important that you eat it when it’s hot because of the cheese.  While lower fat cheeses may be healthier for you, they don’t taste very good when cold.  So if you get Naked Pizza, try to eat it right away if you want to have it when it tastes best.

My third complaint is that the vegetable choices are surprisingly limited.  While it’s great they have unique choices like jalapenos, black beans and sundried tomatoes.  I was disappointed to see they didn’t have some of my usual toppings, like broccoli, sautéed onion, or eggplant.  If they can just increase the vegetable options I would have given is another “0.5 fork” higher ranking.

Rating:

 2.5 out of 4 forks

Overall I was really happy with my experience at Naked Pizza.  It’s great to have healthy options that are different than the usual salad bar choices.  I would definitely return to try other types of pizza, as long as I planned ahead to take it back to my apartment since I knew I wouldn’t likely be eating there.  While it might not be as delicious as other take out or delivery places, it’s definitely better for my waist-line, which is well worth it!

Like any respectable over 21 Bostonian (well, townie suburbanite south of Boston) on St Patrick’s Day I have a Commonwealth responsibility to uphold by honoring a watering hole and taking down a pint or two of beer, preferably Irish.

My choice is Guinness, as is most Bostonians on this day. Lucky for me the bar’s tap I attended in Boston flowed endless.

HOLIDAY BAR PREPARATION 101: Proper planning goes a long way

Now, understand this day I did live my life normally.

4-6 organic and tailored meals to my physique and fitness goals with about 1-1½  gallons of water consumed throughout the course of the day.

I even had myself a little interval session about 2 hours before my first sip of Guinness at 8pm.

ROB’S INTERVAL WORKOUT:
Sled Sprints : 90-225 pounds x 25 yards x 11 sets
Active Recovery between Sprints : Superman’s : 60 seconds AMRAP

The above workout took me about 15 minutes.

After my training session I instructed a group personal training class for 45 minutes at my private fitness studio in Marshfield, changed, and headed to Boston across from Boston Garden.

Now this is when the night still feels familiar.

I enjoyed some conversation with one of the regular’s at the bar, which was packed of course, being Thursday night, Boston, and Saint Patrick’s Day. We threw a few Guinness back together and then he proceeded home. In fact, I also indulged in this delicious corned beef dinner with my few beers.

Straight Up BOSTON! Corned Beef Dinner with Guinness

Straight up Celtic-Bostonian traditional!

Then, as what usually occurs at a bar when I venture out, girls began having conversation with me. Mind you, I do not approach women. It’s not my style. I hang out and let people flow in and out of my space. In fact, I wasn’t even trying to entertain women seeing that I’m sort of involved right now.

Well these two girls decided to spend their evening engaged in conversation with me. Each trying to out-due the other as if one were better.

NOW HERE’S WHERE THE NIGHT IS NOT-SO-NORMAL.

I get up to use the bathroom. Normal.

I leave my beer on the bar at this establishment. Normal.

It is left with my friend bartending behind the bar. Normal.

It is left with two girls sitting next to my drink at the bar. Sort of normal.

I come back from the bar having a few more sips of familiar Guinness.

Meanwhile still texting friends who may be coming to meet me at the bar as I had been doing the previous two and a half hours.

I look at the clock it’s 11:04pm, gave myself a midnight curfew so I could be at my fitness studio to lead another group personal training class at 5:30am.

I look at the clock it’s 4:58am, according to my IRONMAN TRIATHLON wristwatch.

Just before I saw the clock I opened my eyes to see that there is vomit everywhere in my car, I am freezing. Thankfully not the type who panics I reference my memory to understand how this happened.

MY MIND IS BLANK.

Completely VACANT.

I quickly text my instructor-on-call and let her know that I can not make it to class on time and ask if she could lead it for me. Thankfully she says yes.

I attempt to operate my car home and sadly I can merely handle 40mph between the breakdown and the slow lane on I-93 south and Rt-3 south towards my residence in Pembroke.

The entire travel trying to understand what went wrong, how much I drank, who let me leave this way, knowing this isn’t normal for myself and hoping that I arrive safely.

I get home some 50 minutes later crashing into my bed; feeling awful, unnatural, and completely unhealthy. I know there must be some drug in my system at this point because I have not had a hangover in 15 years practically. This is FAR different.

I set my alarm for 8am to try and salvage part of my studio sessions that day (Friday).

I have the craziest dreams. So vivid, so real, it’s almost hard to believe they are not.

I awake, 10:53am, alarm sounding off, ridiculously late, dozens of missed phone calls and text messages from friends and clients.

I fall back asleep near 11:30am and reawaken at 1:40pm.

That’s near 12 hours of sleep for someone who averages 3-4 commonly. Seven hours on an occasional lucky day.

Until 6pm that evening I felt hazed. I could not even perform quick toe raises without the feeling of my brain meeting a sledgehammer quickly dismantling my every thought.

One of the worst effects from being “ruffied” is losing the desire to drink fluids and eat. I went hours before I could put any water in my stomach. Forcing down an organic navel orange took 15-20 minutes. I lost all appetite, but knew it was crucial to begin healing my body efficiently.

Now the next morning I woke up, made myself a frozen strawberry, frozen blueberry and frozen blackberries (all organic fruits) shake with low carb protein powder, had my multivitamin and a niacin capsule and headed to the St. Patrick’s Brant Rock 5k being held in Marshfield (office zip : Brant Rock) next to Arthur & Pat’s restaurant. I arrived with some of my dearest and favorite training family/clients. I ran a decent 21:27 (6:42/mile). Came in 42^nd overall out of 1651 runners.

Im the guy in the white sleeveless wearing bib 1280

Not too shabby for a kid who had just been drugged with no control over his body just a day earlier.

After the run I headed to my fitness studio, Robert Belley Fitness, and punished my body with a 51 minute intensive session. Just for kicks, here’s my workout below:

A1) Outward Press          6-8
A2) DB Row                        4-6
A3) Back Squat                  7-9
A4) Weighted Pull-Ups 3-5

    1 Sledge Hammer        75 sec
    2 Box Jumps                   45 sec

B1) Rack Pulls                     5-8
B2) Bench Press (||)       3-5
B3) Clean                             6-8
B4) X-Over Lunge             3-5

    1 Hanging Leg Raise Hold
    2 Plank

It was tough but good.

After my second workout I went home and continued to dig a fire pit my roommate Dominic started in the backyard. Nothing like open fire on the lake during the warmer seasons.

Now why on Earth would I do all this despite being hung over still from the rufilin (Rohypnol)? Because f**k that guy who drugged me that’s why.

I refuse to let someone feel they have the upper hand on me. And to be honest, if it were in a manner of legit ability I’m cool with that. But when someone cheats or tries to under hand I lose it. Very few things in life can do this to me but that is one of my peeves.

And honestly, this has long been my stance: if caught with Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam)or similar substance on their persons distributing or implementing it, should be a minimum 5-10 year sentence.

There is only intent to control another, dismantle their ability to function, stand, walk, remember, have choice, have freedom and protect themselves. It’s truly horrifying what a drug like that can do to someone’s life. I could have died in my attempt to save myself into my car. I could’ve been hit by an oncoming vehicle crossing the busy intersections of Boston, or fell and nailed my head off a curb or edge.

It is a central nervous system depressant in a class of drugs called benzodiazepines. Benzodiazepines are sedative-hypnotics used to treat anxiety, insomnia and sleep disorders, and seizure disorders; they are also used as skeletal-muscle relaxants.
above from http://www.cesar.umd.edu/cesar/drugs/rohypnol.pdf

 

from http://www.a1b2c3.com/drugs/roof_01.htm
Rohypnol has been prescribed as an effective sleeping pill and is also used as a sedative and preanesthetic medication in some countries. The effects of flunitrazepam are fairly long-acting. When combined with alcohol or other drugs, Rohypnol can impair judgment and motor skills and cause memory loss or blackouts (lasting 8 to 24 hours after ingestion). Loss of inhibition can also occur, with or without alcohol. A person under the influence of Rohypnol can appear to be drunk, display no coordination, blood-shot eyes and slurred speech.

 

Sedation can occur as soon as 20 minutes after ingestion. The drug’s effects will peak within 2 hours and may persist for up to 8 hours or more, depending on the dosage. Other adverse effects associated with flunitrazepam include visual disturbances, drowsiness, confusion, decreased blood pressure, memory impairment, gastrointestinal disturbances and urinary retention. When mixed with alcohol, Rohypnol may cause respiratory depression, aspiration or even death. Although classified as a depressant, Rohypnol can rarely induce excitability or aggressive behavior

Again, I did not know I did this or that I left because under this drug you have no abilities or control of your actions.

EVERYTHING IS VACANT.

My driver’s side door is keyed literally over 20 times because I can tell that I must’ve been on my knees, fallen next to my car trying to crawl into it and repeatedly missing the door lock. The scratches travel all the way south along the panel to the bottom of the door. There are key scratches and gouges all around the key lock within 18 inches. That’s how uncoordinated you become on this drug.

It’s deadly and absolutely abusive to do this to someone.

Thank god I did not drive my vehicle under that condition and had the sense to just sit, lock myself in, and throw the keys on the passenger area as to not reach easily. If I had driven I would’ve killed someone or myself potentially. And most likely it would’ve appeared as drunk-driving although it was obviously the furthest from.

Placing someone’s life in a position where they have absolutely no control over it through a chemical means is attempted murder. No doubt.

You have no way to predict what will happen next to that individual while they react or behave under said influence. I could’ve been beaten in the street for bumping into the wrong headstrong person that night and woken up in an alley stabbed, murdered and robbed. Who knows?

The possibilities under that influence are devastating.

AND THANK GOD IT HAPPENED TO ME AND NOT A WOMAN THAT NIGHT AT THE BAR.

At least I’m a durable, strong metabolism, calm individual under said situation who can take a load of abuse before something would ever give. I can only imagine others may have gone to the hospital, stomach pumped, or been raped or robbed or…

I’m fortunate it happened to me and not to a female at the bar. I hope.

So please, if anything, always hold your drink in your hand. Even if you’re somewhere you feel safe and know people do not let your hands off of your drink.

It’s rare for guys to be ruffied but when there are jealous and insecure people around anything can happen to confident individuals as myself. Just be careful.

Rob

www.RBFIT.com

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Highland Kitchen

Highland Kitchen is the type of place I would recommend to a friend for pretty much any occasion.  The atmosphere makes it great for a date, for a celebration, or just with a group of friends for a good meal.  However I would suggest you go during a weekday.  Monday through Thursday you get seated quickly, if there is any wait at all, and you get plenty of attention from the staff.  On the weekends the staff is still good, but since they don’t take reservations on Fridays or Saturdays you could be waiting up to an hour since it’s a small restaurant.

Every night Highland Kitchen is open from 5:00PM to 11:00PM, serving upscale southern comfort food with a unique twist.  (Think veal in the meatloaf and goat in the curry stew.)  Since they are only open until 11:00PM I would say this is a great place to start the night, but maybe not end it.  Fortunately since it’s in Somerville you have plenty of options if you want another bar for post-dinner drinks!

Food

Check if the fried chicken is a special when you go.  I think it would be a mistake to go to a place like Highland Kitchen and not at least try it.  I mean, nothing is more southern comfort than fried chicken and they definitely do it right!  It is a massive portion, served with mashed potatoes and gravy, a biscuit, and collard greens.  The greens were ok, but the biscuit and potatoes were the perfect sides and the fat kid in me rejoiced at them.

I definitely recommend the blacked catfish po’ boy sandwich to any seafood fans visiting this establishment.  It’s a good size, without being huge, comes with a side of either a salad or fries (my friend went with a salad, but that’s the dealers choice), and is absolutely delicious.  The fish is cooked to perfection, the remoulade is creamy, and the french bread is thick with a crunch.  Even better for those of you on a budget like myself, it’s only $9.95.

The apple pie a la mode was the perfect way to end the meal.  Nothing is more American than a piece of hot, crispy apple pie with cold, smooth vanilla ice cream.  There are more creative desserts on the menu, but this one is delicious in its simplicity.

Complaints

I try to eat vegetarian twice a week, and when you review restaurants that can sometimes be challenging.  I’m always pleased when restaurants have other, more creative, vegetarian-friendly options on the menu aside from soups or salads.  Unfortunately I wasn’t impressed with Highland Kitchens choices.  They only had one choice on the sandwiches menu (a black bean veggie burger) and one choice on the main courses menu (grilled vegetable kabobs).  So if you are a non-animal eater I would say to stay away.

My other problem with Highland Kitchen is that they have a small menu in general.  I typically enjoy eclectic dishes, and am a pretty adventurous eater.  So since I am open to trying new foods, small menus don’t bother me too much.  However if I was dining with a picky eater I wouldn’t bring them to Highland Kitchen.  With small menus, you can run into trouble if most of your dishes are unique, which theirs are.  I can think of a few friends that wouldn’t have easily found something they wanted to try on the menu.

Rating:

With incredibly reasonably priced meals, a very friendly and knowledgeable staff, and a fun environment I was a fan of Highland Kitchen.  While I don’t think it’s necessarily for everyone, if you like southern foods then I definitely think you should check it out!  It’s a nice change of pace in a city full of chains.  So if you want an affordable meal, but with a better environment and better ingredients, then add Highland Kitchen to your list of places to try.

3 out of 4 forks

Fajitas and ‘Ritas

Hidden on West Street by the Boston Common, “Fajitas and ‘Ritas” has long been a favorite of the college crowd.  However it’s not just for those matriculating in Boston.  With their cheap prices, fun atmosphere and variety of Mexican food it’s a winner for anyone looking to get something to eat before hitting the bars on a weekend night.

The tables have rolls of paper towels already on them for the mess you will inevitably make.  So I don’t recommend this as a date restaurant, at least not a first date restaurant.  You also receive a basket of fresh chips and salsa from the moment you sit down, which is never a bad thing.  Once perusing the menu you don’t have to worry about shouting your order to the wait staff because you just check off what you want on the additional paper menu they give you.   This place is loud, colorful, fun and delicious.

Food
While there are many choices on the menu, it would be a mistake to at least not try the fajitas.  You can order them steak, chicken, vegetable, shrimp, scallop or a combination of any of those options.  They come fast and hot, served with guacamole, pico de gallo, sour cream and flour tortillas.  From there you pick how many people it’s for.  So if you and another person are ordering the same thing, make sure you sit next to each other because both orders will come out on one sizzling skillet.

Aside from sharing the dishes, you should also look into sharing pitchers of margaritas with your co-dinners.  I’ve been to “Fajitas and ‘Ritas” a few times, and I’ve never had anything to drink except the margaritas because they are fantastic.  My suggestion is to get one mango and one raspberry (my favorites) and half a glass of half of each.   You can also order original, strawberry, or one of their nightly special flavors.  About $5.00 for a glass and $13.00 for a pitcher it’s a (tasty) steal.

If you are like my friends and I, you sometimes want to make small adjustments to the dishes but feel bad asking to do so.  The way you order nachos at “Fajitas and ‘Ritas” eliminates that problem.  You start with a platter of chips and cheese, and then just build from there, adding whatever you want for set prices.  We went with chili, refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, tomatoes, salsa and jalapenos.  But you can also add extra cheese, cucumbers, steak, black olives, or a variety of other toppings.

Complaints

One of the reasons we came here was because a friend of mine has a gluten allergy.  Typically she does well with Mexican restaurants because of the corn tortillas, chips and rice.  However, they unfortunately didn’t have corn tortillas, only flour.  This lead to much fewer options for her to chose from.  Eventually she decided on the Tequila Wings, which weren’t terrible but weren’t great.  They were relatively bland and dry. Not bad enough to send back, but not good enough to order again.  So if you are also Gluten-free, this probably isn’t the best place for you.

For a large restaurant, the wait time always seems like it’s much longer than it should be.  This is partially because they don’t take reservations for small groups of people (yet another reason to go with a big group).  If there is only a few of you going I suggest not being too hungry because it’s going to take a frustratingly long time.

If there was a decent bar space to sit at and have a drink while waiting, it wouldn’t be such an issue.  Unfortunately the bar area is miniscule, and typically packed with plenty of other people waiting just like yourself.  The bar tenders are pretty good about getting you a drink right away, but there isn’t much room to sit.  So if you want to order an appetizer you’re pretty much out of luck.

Rating

3 out of 4 forks

I am a big fan of “Fajitas and ‘Ritas” for their food, atmosphere, and especially their prices.  I’ve been a few times and I’ll definitely be back.  What their menu lacks in depth they make up for in quality.  Definitely check it out if you have a group of friends that don’t mind waiting, sharing, or drinking margaritas.

Holy F$#% Where Did That Come From?!

Its second set of hips season again

As you all know, Holidays actually spells Crisco… for technical term, reference Belley’s Dictionary:

Ho-li-days adv
Definition of HOLIDAYS
: the seasonal period between the gobble gobble gee and the fat bearded man who chimney sweeps and races deer : often times encompassing the famed days of absurdly pathological drinking and collegiate level bowl hangover viewing

Do you want to be the obsessively stared at second butt to Becky and her BFF?

I’d think not.

Don't be too tight spandex girl at the Burger King

So let’s avoid the unofficially knighted Sir Mix-A-Lot’s theory and suggestion to “Playin workout tapes by Fonda. But Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda” because he clearly did not foresee high fructose corn syrup and McDonald’s terrorizing weaker Americans fat cells.

But I guess when you’re knighted by 23 with no University or England affiliation and your entire catalog is about bums what can you ask for?

This Has To Be a Fake. His head is ginormous

And none the less, he’ll never overtake the King and his Burger Sponge Bob promo. Mix-a-Lot changed his lyrics just for the king… although kind of perverse to lure young children for toys into the burger lair.

This guy will tell ya something about fat booties

I heart America J

Next post, I’ll tell you all about the real rigors of becoming Miss Massachusetts Little did I know being over the age of 25 and being a man constitutes no-entry to the event… formalities.

Live the dream square pant obesity protesting friends,

Rob Belley 

*FAN us on Facebook, at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Marshfield-MA/Robert-Belley-Fitness-Marshfields-Funnest-Fat-Loss-Beach-Body-Studio/174797574837

Oleana

If you want upscale and unique cuisine, Oleana is an excellent choice.  Just be absolutely sure to make reservations, no matter what night of the week it is, otherwise the wait will usually be at least an hour.  Oleana is small with a very intimate atmosphere, great choice for a date if you really want to impress.  While you won’t be disappointed in the food, be prepared to drop some serious money if you go for dinner and want the whole experience (appetizers, entrees, wine, dessert).  Oleana can be found at 134 Hampshire Street in Cambridge, they have a very small parking lot across the street for patrons who choose to drive.

Food

I typically wouldn’t order whipped feta as an appetizer, especially on a menu with so many unique and fascinating options.  However, my co-diner suggested it and I was thrilled that I listened.  It was incredible.  Whipped perfectly so that the texture was more of a creamy hummus as opposed to the texture of a cheese, the sweet and hot peppers it was combined with gave it the perfect kick, and it was a wonderful way to start the meal.  If you want a light starter that will definitely please everyone at the table, I suggest going this route.  While it’s seemingly “safe” it’s tasty enough to impress even the most adventurous food snobs.

Frequently I’ll order fish when I’m at upscale restaurants because they tend to be the star of the show.  However at Oleana it’s clear they are more focused on meat when you take a look at their menu.  If you eat lamb, I highly recommend the Azuluna Lamb with Turkish Spices.  It was seasoned just enough to make it spicy without overwhelming the flavor of the lamb itself.  The greek yogurt it was served with was the perfect cool and creamy side to counter the flavor and texture of the lamb.

At many restaurants of this caliber the wine menu is usually intimidating, expensive and difficult to navigate unless you are a wine connoisseur.  However at Oleana they have an incredible selection of whites, reds, and champagnes (broken down into those categories) for any price range.  What’s even more impressive is the fact that they have wine by the glass, the bottle and by the half bottle which is a nice, albeit rare, option.  If you want a red that isn’t too full-bodied (or too expensive) then I suggest going for the Syrah (Grenache, Domaine Chaume-Arnaud, Cotes du Rhone, France) for a great compliment to meat dishes.

Like I said before, the food is definitely expensive.  It also always has a wait unless you make reservations.  While these things are not an issue if you know about them ahead of time, the first time I went to Oleana I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to wait an hour.  Just know what you are getting into if you decide to go!

Rating

3 out of 4 forks.

For those of you with adventurous tastes, and don’t mind splurging on a more expensive meal, Oleana is definitely worth trying.  Ask about the specials because they change every night, order a bunch of appetizers and eat dinner tapas style, or pick one of their impressive entrees to enjoy for dinner.  This is definitely not the type of place you go on a weekly basis, but it’s great if you want to go somewhere off the beaten track when you’re in the mood for unique food.

East Coast Grill & Raw Bar

The first thing you notice when you walk into East Coast Grill at 1271 Cambridge St. (in Cambridge) is the atmosphere.  It’s young, vibrant, loud and fun.  There are crazy decorations all over the place and it instantly puts you in a good mood.  But as great as the atmosphere is, once you look at the menu you know people come for the food.  The wait staff is friendly and they know their stuff, so feel free to ask away.  This is a restaurant meant for hearty eaters, so if you’re on a diet or are a vegetarian I suggest you stay away because there are very few options for you.  Otherwise, enjoy!

Food

If you don’t listen to anything else I have to say in this review, then at least listen to this.  Order the Prince Edward Island Mussels from the appetizer section.  Do it.  I’m serious.  Order them.  Have them as an appetizer; eat them as your entrée.  Hell, order them as your dessert!  It doesn’t matter, just get them.  Trust me on this.  They are absolutely amazing.  They are steamed in a sauce of coconut milk, chilies and lime, and they will blow you away.  Make sure you order bread to go along with them, because you’re going to want something to dip into the sauce once the mussels are gone.

If you’re looking for a drink to enjoy with your meal, I suggest you check out the margaritas.  While there are plenty of wines that would accompany anything you order quite well, East Coast Grill is known for their margaritas, and with good reason.  Whether you go for a Martin’s, a House, the Real Deal, or a Raspberry (my favorite) margarita, it doesn’t matter, you’ll be glad you did.

Lastly check out the specials.  Every day they offer something new and creative you won’t find on the regular menu.  The dish pictured below is the “Portuguese Style Seafood Stew.”  It’s a combination of some of the best things already offered on the menu like the shrimp, scallops, crab, fried fish, and more mussels in yet another amazing sauce.  Order a piece of corn bread or sweet mashed potatoes on the side to pair some BBQ influence with a seafood dish.

 Complaints

When you first sit down you are greeted with a bowl of the E.C.G. Pickle Mix.  At first I was thrilled because I love pickles (if you read my post about the New England Soup Factory you would know this).  However I was really disappointed.  I assumed since it was called a “mix” there would be a mix of flavors, but they were all sweet.  It was just a mix of vegetables that were pickled; cucumbers, carrots, peppers.  Hopefully in the future they’ll add kosher dill or something else for variety!

I unfortunately wasn’t in love with my entrée either.  In all fairness it may have been because it came after the PEI Mussels and it paled in comparison.  I had the fried cod (it was a special) and it just wasn’t anything exceptional.  It was much too plain of a dish and needed a ton of lemon to give it flavor.  Additionally the fried swordfish in the Seafood Stew was way too buttery and also didn’t have great flavor.  In the future I would definitely go for one of the BBQ options as an entrée instead.

Rating

3 out of 4 forks.

If you want a fun, lively meal with friends then this is a great option.  The menu isn’t very deep, but most of what they do offer is delicious.  East Coast Grill is meant for seafood and BBQ lovers, if you don’t fall into either of those categories you may have a hard time finding something to order.  But a trip to Cambridge is worth it for the mussels alone and you can’t go wrong with one of their many excellent margaritas.  And who doesn’t love a margarita?

Grotto Restaurant

Grotto is without a doubt one of Boston best hidden gems.  Located underground on 37 Bowdoin Street in Beacon Hill, it seats barely 50 people.  But because it’s such a well kept secret, reservations are never hard to get.  It has a vibrant and intimate setting, perfect for a date or dinner with a group of friends.  No matter the occasion, Grotto is one of the best Italian restaurants in the city.

 My favorite part of Grotto is the fact that it’s a prix fixe menu, every night of the week.  It’s $34.00 per person, and includes a primi, a secondi, and a dolce!  (That’s an appetizer, an entrée, and a dessert for you non-Italian speakers out there.)  So not only is it a great dinner, but it’s an absolutely steal as well.

Food

Picking what you want for your appetizer, entrée and dessert is not easy with all of the delicious sounding options.  However a few stood out above the rest.  The fontina cheese fondue appetizer was a unique appearance on an otherwise traditional menu.  It’s served with beef tenderloin to dip into the cheese, and it’s incredible.  The aged balsamic and truffle oil added the perfect additional flavor.  If it were socially acceptable to eat melted cheese with a spoon that’s exactly what I would have been doing.

My favorite entrée was the potato gnocchi with short ribs, mushrooms and gorgonzola.  While the gnocchi was homemade and excellent, the short ribs were truly the star of this dish.  They were so tender they essentially melted in your mouth.  Despite how (uncomfortably) full I was, I still managed to finish every bit of the meat.

All of the desserts were excellent, but for me the melting chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream really stood out.  They took a classic dessert and made it extra indulgent.  The cake was rich and “melting” was the best adjective for it.  It was the perfect end to a wonderful meal.

Runner up’s for favorite primi, secondi and dolce are the mussels, the grilled beef tenderloin and the banana bread pudding respectively.

Complaints

My biggest complaint about Grotto is there are too many delicious options and too much food to finish!  No, in all seriousness, it is an excellent restaurant.  My (very small) problem with it is that there is no parking in the area, unless you get very lucky, and there is no valet.  If you can walk, take the T or a cab, I suggest you do so.

Additionally they are open from lunch between 11:30 AM and 3:00 PM and then for dinner from 5:00 PM and 10:00 PM.  Just something to keep in mind if you are in the area from 3:00 to 5:00, you’re out of luck.

Rating

4 out of 4 forks.

Incredible food, great atmosphere, attentive service, reasonably priced.  I will certainly be going back and I recommend you do the same!  Grotto has become my new go-to restaurant to take friends when they visit!