Do you ever carry your cell phone in your pocket?  Of course you do.  Where else would you put it (other than your purse, I suppose)?

 Well, you should know that cell phones have been known to spontaneously explode.  And when they do, they can cause some serious damage.  Don’t believe me?

Last Friday, an unidentified man from Guangzhou, China was killed when his cell phone . . . which was in his breast pocket . . . blew up and SEVERED AN ARTERY IN HIS NECK. 

According to an unidentified co-worker, there was a loud bang, and the next thing she knew . . . the man was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. 

So what happened?

Apparently, the man had just replaced his old battery with a new, fully-charged one. The problem is that when lithium cell phone batteries are overcharged or exposed to heat . . . the liquid inside them can combust. 

In other words..your cell phone is trying to kill you!  Everybody panic!!

Like most guys, I’m not the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day.  But if you think YOU hate Valentine’s Day, listen to THIS . . .

Yesterday, a Hindu extremist group in India called Sri Ram Sena (also known as the “Hindu Taliban”) warned that its members will physically attack anyone who’s caught celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Why?  Because they say the day encourages anti-Indian behavior and, quote, “sexual misdemeanors”.

According to Sri Ram Sena’s founder, quote: “Valentine’s Day is definitely not Indian culture.  We will caution hotels and other establishments not to celebrate it, and create awareness among the youth through pamphlets.  We will not allow celebration of that day in any form.”

And according to another member of the group, quote, “If people celebrate the day despite our warning, then we will definitely attack them.”

Sounds like a great way of getting out of doing anything for Valentines Day!  Just tell the little lady you are trying to protect her and by going out, you are putting your lives at risk!  Hopefully, she will think you are her Hero and let you have control of the TV for the night…and then “thank” you later!

Let’s be honest . . . Groundhog Day is just about the dumbest “holiday” ever and the only people who enjoy it are the jerk politicians who get to hold up the groundhog . . . and use the event as a photo-op.  So it’s fitting that yesterday, during New York City’s Groundhog Day festivities at the Staten Island Zoo, a groundhog named “Staten Island Chuck” took a bite out of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s hand. 

According to Chuck’s trainer, quote, “They were trying to lure [Chuck] out with corn but I guess he would have none of it.  He was chewing on a bit of it and then he would run back in the house.  “[Bloomberg and Chuck] were definitely wrestling there for awhile.  They definitely looked like they were involved in a tussle.”

A spokesman for the mayor’s office says the bite only “nicked” Bloomberg’s hand . . . and since he’s up-to-date on his Tetanus inoculation, he just washed his hand and put a bandage on the bite.